[27 May 2007|04:13am] First sober rave! And to think we almost didn't get in. Thanks to Gomez and some sly spywork on my part, we finally made it at 130 am and now have a glowy fish with googly eyes as a souvenir from tonight. post comment

[26 Apr 2007|12:18am] There is no such thing as equilibrium in life. From the point of consciousness, you're thrust into a state of constant flux, never stopping to be content in any one moment. You're always looking forward, looking back, frightened of something or anxious about something else. When you have downtime, you spend it consumed with regret and wracked with guilt, dwelling on the past and fretting for the future. The point of this isn't some woe-is-me rant, it's quite the opposite: a hopeful conclusion. Happiness is neither a journey nor a destination; it is rather a series of very fleeting moments. The key is to leave enough room in yourself, apart from all of the turmoil churning about, that you don't miss out on those moments. Your happy ending is all around you in the little stuff. That's all there is. post comment

[24 Mar 2007|04:26am] tonight was epic that is all 3 comments|post comment

ahahaha [23 Mar 2007|03:03am] Oh man. Drunk dials from asshole exes FOR THE WIN. 1 comment|post comment

[20 Mar 2007|02:11pm] [ mood | content ] Best. Weekend. Ever. post comment

[05 Mar 2007|11:36pm] [ mood | frustrated ] My head isn't functioning well enough for me to do homework right now, and there's a million thoughts firing all at once--some good, some bad. I had a wonderful weekend, but didn't really catch up on sleep, so maybe I'm just feeling the first signs of brain damage. I did not get the internship. Those shits. But I met a boy, and he is wonderful and crazy in all the right ways and did not run when he found out about all of my issues. Only problem is he's in San Francisco; guess you can't have your cake and eat it, too. post comment

[01 Mar 2007|01:53pm] I have slept nine hours in the last 72, and my interview in San Francisco is tomorrow with a dinner at 8 tonight to kick things off. Oh boy. Hope accounting firms like zombies. post comment

wellp it's Valentine's Day [14 Feb 2007|11:49am] And I got flaked on again. Fabulous. Being single is really lame sometimes, it turns out. post comment

posting from my new apartment [11 Feb 2007|12:53am] I'm so relieved right now. Eeee. post comment

[03 Feb 2007|03:46am] [ mood | giddy ] I just went on the best date EVER!!! Except he didn't try to kiss me argh. Oh well. Anticipation makes everything better, I suppose. EEEK. I have a crush! post comment

everything's coming up Stacy [a short list] [02 Feb 2007|10:54am] 1. 98 (highest in class) on finance midterm 2. WE GOT THE APARTMENT. I'm moving next Saturday! 3. pop 7 in March, coachella in April 4. I have an indoor rock climbing date tonight with a cute and nerdy boy ^_^ 5. Tomorrow I'm finally doing Harry Potter night wif Nina and it will be rad 6. Nick and I are going on an adventure Sunday, starting with Tupelo Junction and shopping! Life is fab and no amount of terrible accounting exams and mean econ professors and asshole exes can get me down. post comment

[15 Jan 2007|08:38pm] Sometimes, I hate my job more than anything. Yesterday and today are the kinds of days that make working there not worth it. I feel like I've been stabbed in the legs and back repeatedly with short daggers, my cold has returned because we don't fucking have a heater and it was below 60 INDOORS, and we had two miserable nontipping parties in two days. Along with customers out the ass because of the holiday weekend. Go us for getting some much-needed business, but christ sometimes Stuart is so insensitive (he hesitated before letting me take a 15 minute lunch today, despite my having glazed, helped customers, cleaned, and loaded a huge kiln working NONSTOP for four hours). Now I get to do homework and go right to bed. And tomorrow, I have class all day and a PARTY to go to at night? I'm sorry, I usually love being busy, but this is ridiculous. post comment

Waiting for tipsiness to pass before going to sleep... [13 Jan 2007|01:57am] Alright, so I never make resolutions, but we will call these 'loose goals'. An optimist such as myself always needs things to look forward to. My January resolutions: -go to all my classes -find out name of Snide Boy in econ 101; find a way to get Bik man to HUSH for a second -break up with pretty boy gracefully -make out with TJ -stop eating so many goddamn french fries -do (even?) more drugs -no more drunk driving! -meet new sexy, intellectually stimulating bad boy that totally makes old sexy bad boy look like poo in comparison -get James fired or at least get his ass in gear -set up a nightlife schedule so I stop triplebooking and flaking on people and missing out on fun times -be an excellent friend/utterly lovable -read: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Islands in the Stream (Hemingway), The Wall (Sartre) -listen: Animal Collective, William Elliot Whitmore (I WANT HIS REDNECK BABIES), more Iron & Wine -finish orchid sketch! and vase! Basically, I aim to have as much fun as humanly possible, while doing way more super things than I could ever have time to do. I think after last fall I kind of deserve it. post comment

[11 Jan 2007|10:22am] UGH I will never stop missing him. Ugh ugh ugh. Auspicious start to the quarter though: I actually did my homework last night. Whoo! post comment

stolen survey from Licia [03 Jan 2007|12:56pm] [ mood | content ] Let me just start off by saying I went on a Fabulous (capital F) date last night. Aww. 1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Got a job I absolutely loved, did several new drugs (bad Stacy), got my heart broken. 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I doubt it. They were probably something about exercising more and getting in shape and studying more, and I did none of those things. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I hope not. 4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully. 5. What countries did you visit? France, Austria, Russia 6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? A mutually meaningful relationship, and shit, a decent living situation wouldn't hurt. 7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 23. Ouchies. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Superficially, getting the Summer Leadership Conference and becoming a TA. If I'm honest with myself, my biggest achievement was probably admitting that I don't like the direction my life has taken. 9. What was your biggest failure? Getting a 1.9 GPA fall quarter. Whoops. That and blinding myself to people's faults. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Does depression count? 11. What was the best thing you bought? Oh wow, I certainly bought a lot. Probably all of my new CDs, because music is so so so important to me. 12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? At the beginning of the year, Nick... toward the end of the year, Joseph; Jeff; Kavir 13. Whose behavior merited celebration? Licia and Alex were always there for me! 14. Where did most of your money go? CDs, clothes, eating out, buying people presents! 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? New job, Europe trip, my doomed relationship, New Years Eve. 16. What song will always remind you of 2006? Crazy- Gnarls Barkley (because it was everywhere--agreed with Alicia) Jeff Buckley - Lover, You Should've Come Over (I wish it didn't have to mean what it means to me) Calexico and Iron & Wine - 16, Maybe Less (made me all warm and nostalgic) Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko (druuuugs; my bday) 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? sadder oops ii. thinner or fatter? thinner? maybe... OH that's my biggest accomplishment of 06. I stopped weighing myself. iii. richer or poorer? richer hell yes 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? drawing, making new friends, going to shows 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? crying like a little baby; wallowing 20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent it with a lot of extended family and a stupid boy who wouldn't make a move. 22. Did you fall in love in 2006? UNfortunately 23. How many one-night stands? Oh hm. Hmmmm. 1 one-night stand, 2 two-night stands. 24. What was your favorite TV program? LOST 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? The three aforementioned people who made me depressed and appalled. 26. What was the best book you read? That's SO HARD! Probably Salman Rushdie's Shalimar The Clown or Daniel Quinn's Ishmael. Certainly not The Maimed, blech. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Way way way way way too many to list. Overall, I discovered that there is a lot of folk I like. 28. What did you want and get? Attention, affection, intrigue, my rad Diesel watch! 30. What was your favorite film of this year? This was not a year of films for me. I thoroughly enjoyed The Departed and Little Miss Sunshine and Borat... not so much Silent Hill. 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went with my closest SB pals to Zatoon's and saw Borat, then sat around being silly and bored. Turned the big 2-0. 32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Not taking the TAing job, not getting involved with bad people. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Jeans, black flip-flops, miniskirts, and lots and lots of different jackets. Also, I sadly got into more expensive clothes. 34. what="What" kept="kept" you="you" sane? My friends, my job, making art, music. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Probably still Colin Farrell. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? Ugh I sort of ignored politics this year, it was too depressing. The democratic gubernatorial primaries in CA really disappointed me though. 37. Who did you miss? My mom and dad and friends at home mostly. 38. Who was the best new person you met? Licia!! But also Nina and Savannah and Tyler. 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Trust people's actions, not words. 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. oh christ Fiona Apple - A Mistake I'm gonna make a mistake I'm gonna do it on purpose I'm gonna waste my time 'Cause I'm full as a tick And I'm scratching at the surface And what I find is mine And when the day is done, and I look back And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around All the advice I shunned, and I ran Where they told me not to run, but I sure Had fun, so I'm gonna fuck it up again I'm gonna do another detour Unpave my path And if you wanna make sense Whatcha looking at me for I'm no good at math 1 comment|post comment

God I hate planes. [30 Dec 2006|09:49am] The flight out of DC was of course delayed because the incoming flight was coming from (where else) Denver. AND we hit turbulence over the Rockies, so we had to fly at a lower altitude where it wasn't quite so wobbly. But I made it back in one piece... though not without nearly losing my mind. I should have realized something was wrong with the woman sitting next to me when she stayed standing until the flight attendant told her to take her seat for takeoff. After that, she started muttering to herself. Nothing major, just random comments about how she was feeling and what was being announced over the intercom. Her AC vent was open, so I was sitting there and quietly shivering because the stewardess couldn't find a blanket for me. I thanked god when she finally reached for the vent, but my joy was short-lived because the bitch actually OPENED IT MORE. Eventually, I got my blanket, which I promptly draped over my head, and proceeded to fall asleep. I was woken up exactly 40 minutes later because the crazy old bat had put her feet (clad in boots) up on the seat and her heels were jammed firmly in my thigh. There was no more sleep for the rest of the flight. Not only did she continue to mutter, but she also yawned loudly every ten minutes, making these obnoxious squealing noises at the end of each one. And not only did she keep sticking her feet on me, but her elbows joined the party to encroach on my precious breathing room. Then... she started farting. And we're not talking once or twice, or bashfully. She would actually RAISE HER ASS in my direction, loudly toot, and surround me with the horrible smell of her digesting Hawaiian chicken salad. I actually ended up opening my own vent for the last hour of the flight. It helped only marginally, and now I probably have pneumonia. 1 comment|post comment

[16 Dec 2006|10:52am] 'I need to get laid' has been amended to 'I need a GOOD lay' Sigh. post comment

I can't concentrate [10 Dec 2006|08:44pm] [ mood | grumpy ] skjsflkdj;ldswnaksdlkfnneiwok I want pie. 1 comment|post comment

[07 Dec 2006|01:34am] [ mood | dead ] Can not one FUCKING thing go right for me? Not one? The maps I spent three hours making last night for this idiotic project are gone. Photoshop saved them in the improper format, it turns out. No program can open them, not even photoshop, it turns out. I can't sleep and I can't eat and I can't think and all I can do is sit here and cry like an idiot about nothing and everything all at once. I hate this week so fucking much. I hate this month and I hate this quarter and I hate this entire terrible year. I just want to crawl in bed and stay there until everything goes away and I am no longer me and nothing exists anymore. post comment

it's been a long day [04 Dec 2006|09:57pm] I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of being single. I'm tired of missing someone not worth missing. I'm tired of accounting. I'm tired of Santa Barbara. I'm tired of cold nights. I'm tired of addictions. I'm tired of living in this fucking house with its spiders and loneliness. I'm tired of being a burden. I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep. But I'm also tired of insomnia. Oh well, it could always be worse, right? post comment

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